Mystery Shopper Me

Costco got the better of my budget two weeks back and I am still recovering. I usually don't overspend, but the aisles of that store can be like a highway to the danger zone (think Kenny Loggins' tune in Top Gun). At Costco, they feed you as you push your cart along. The food is good and lots of times it is something organic, low sodium, with zero trans-fat, so you feel good about eating it. It's way too easy to start doing the I'll take one of those and two of them two step as you polka along munching free shopping snacks.

Last week we still had enough foodstuffs from my checkbook busting extravaganza, but looking into the refrigerator this morning I saw no lactose-free milk, real fake eggs, broccoli nor fish. These are staples in a reduce your cholesterol in six months or else diet. I would have to go to Aldi- the money saving superstore, where $18 in the wallet might pave the way to Friday.

I grabbed my reusable "green" bag and the cash and headed over. No quarter needed for a cart today, I was only buying broccoli and fish. The cantaloupes were $1.00, today only, I put one of those in for good measure. Just as I did so, a lean and lank, young man approached me with a cart full of five heads of lettuce, six bottles of juice and several cans of milk, half evaporated and half sweetened condensed. He looked me in the eye and said, "We do something here called mystery shopping, to make sure our cashiers are ringing customers up properly. Would you kindly take this cart through the check-out line. You won't have to pay for it and I'll give you five dollars for your trouble."

Focusing on the Aldi badge on his work shirt I asked, "Where will you be at the end of this deal?"

"I'll meet you at the end of the line and take care of the whole thing," he was resolute. Then he disappeared.

I got behind the cart with too much canned milk, acted like nothing was happening, gazed nonchalantly into the freezer at the fish I'd really be buying later and pushed up to the conveyor belt. I unloaded the lettuce, juice and cans of milk, making sure to mix the sweetened condensed and evaporated varieties together, in case it was part of "the test". The check-out guy scanned each item very fast, like they are trained to do there, dropping each into the empty cart waiting at the end of the belt. I sallied my newly empty cart up to the one now full of my undercover purchases and he said, "That'll be ________I forget how much he said it'd be, for out of the dark and stormy night, I mean back room, came the lean and lank. Without a word he stuck a key from his ring of many into the check out guy's register, popping it open. He keyed something into the register, closed the drawer and motioned for me to follow him to a different register at the empty lane behind him.

Before I followed, I whispered to the check out guy, "Did that surprise you?" His eyes were wide and he fumbled his words, "I never saw it coming," he said. I told him I hoped he'd done everything right, then stepped aside to let a customer with a real order go through.

It was the first time I'd made five bucks in five seconds.

With my earnings I bought a bag of tilapia fillets- that's fancy for fish. When the check out guy checked me out for real, I asked him how he'd scored on the test. He'd passed. Perfect.

We'll be eating all the way to Friday. Sometimes things just work out so fine.

Costco- I'm in!

Michigan winters are long and cold. I.T. and I barely notice, because it's always only 7 days or less to Friday. That's when we settle in around the fire with our longtime friends from down the street to play a few rounds of pinochle. When it's their turn to host, we are frequently served delicious fruits, nuts, cheese, crackers and sweets from Costco. Our card playing friends are two of the best customers that club ever had. For years they have encouraged us to join, so we too could enjoy a steady supply of fresh, decadent foodstuffs and, of course, save money.

I am not one to follow the crowd, as you know, and even our friends' seamless arguments could not convince me that it made any sense at all to pay money for a plastic card- the required passport to shop in that store. No. I make weekly rounds to Aldi, then Meijer, maybe Family Fare and finish up at Wal-Mart if absolutely necessary- all sans *the card*, stocking enough for one week, then make the trek again.

We visited Costco a couple of times, as guests of our friends. Guards frisked us at the door and took our thumb prints before we entered. We could look, but under no circumstances were we even to think of purchasing anything from Costco without a plastic membership card. Got it? They're serious about *the card*. I felt nervous until I got ten feet or so inside the entrance. That's when the suction of the stuff-mart gripped me, as I was lured in by the loot. They pack a lot into this monster of a shopping metropolis under one roof. But it is organized and tidy. Employees believe in the products. They speak with confidence and a smile about all things Costco. We were mesmerized.

First we passed the big screen t.v.s, then the case of diamond rings. When we got to the food section, we opened our mouths at every end cap and free demo treats popped in. You can pretty much get a full lunch there on Saturdays. When we left, we felt a little bit depressed. We did not belong.

A few weeks ago, an intriguing piece of junk mail arrived. Costco was offering a $10 cash coupon to those who wished to join for the introductory rate and a $20 cash coupon for entering at the executive, CEO, big kahuna level. I paused for the flashback of the endless aisles of deals. Yeah, I wanted the gold card.

I mentioned it to I.T. He's a hard sell. I tucked the flyer into the side of a wooden box that sits by our phone- a veritable dumpster for loose paperwork that needs reevaluation.

Last Sunday was the final day of the special offer. I pulled out the flyer and took it to church in my purse. After the final prayer and chit chat, on the way to the car, I carefully reviewed the benefits of a Costco membership with I.T. He said, "you want to go there now?" I replied, "yes, I want to go there now." I flashed the flyer.

Fashionista was curious, she had heard they sold coffins there and wanted to see what styles were available. I think she visualized tens of thousands of coffins in every color of the crayon box with various designs all lined up. I burst her bubble by telling her there were two 1/4 coffins cut in half lengthwise and glued to a display board for viewing.

Anyway, we drove over there, went in the wrong door, were made to go back out and re-enter through the right door. The plain clothes door officer watched to make sure we walked directly to the membership counter, where we promptly joined at the level that offered the most perks. No credit card. Just the magic gold.

Then we grabbed a cart and got some lunch from the demo folks in the grocery department. All natural energy bars- you can pronounce every ingredient listed, fizzy soda without dyes or artificial flavoring, pork barbecue, Kirkland brand yogurt (I'm so impressed with that Costco brand- quality!) and sharp cheddar- white, not yellow- describes a few of the samples available that day. I bought the energy bars. We sampled an entire pizza at the food court on our way out.

It was exciting, though I tend to get over zealous in adventurous situations such as these. My cash envelope for groceries is now empty, plus some. I don't need to call Dave Ramsey to figure out we can't use our air conditioner this week (that should evoke enough savings from the electric bill envelope to make up the difference). I'm not sure what I'll do with 433 rolls of toilet paper and I think I.T. will need to dig out a cold storage hut under our basement to store the super sized boxes of fresh fruits and veggies. But I figure that will double as a tornado shelter. We'll cram as many neighbors down in there as we can fit and snack on whole foods while we ride out the storm. It'll boost morale in the midst of tragedy and we'll all come out ready to rebuild!

I understand, from our friends, if we play our cards right, we will actually save money shopping at Costco. I hope I'll be able to figure out how to make that deal score.

In the meantime, visit anytime -plenty of toilet paper and snacks for everyone! Plus the pool's open.

Heidi