Hoping in Him

As it turns out, when you fall off the face of the earth, it's hard to get a good enough grip to pull yourself back into the blogosphere. So much has changed since I last blogged regularly that I'm not even sure I am the same person as that blogging girl. I think I left off somewhere between crying all the time from the pain of empty nesting and trying to figure out how to be a good wife to my husband. Well, I'm no longer grieving over a house void of people- most of them came back. My middle son- I call him Pilgrim on the blog- he moved home the first week of June after spending two years and all his hard earned money in California. He's 21. I'm very glad to have him home. My daughter, Fashionista on the blog, is home from college for the summer, of course, and is working every day in the plant at the company where my husband, I.T. (Information Technologist) works, so she can afford to return for year 2. I absolutely love having Fash here.  Pilgrim's girlfriend from California, moved in for a week, last week, as she is going to complete her nursing degree here in Michigan at a university near our home, to be near Pilgrim. She was touring the university and getting some paperwork done for admissions. I found her to be a very sweet girl and we enjoyed having her here. As for working on being a good wife, I'm still working on it.

I'm also feeling that I wasted a lot of tears over the lonely empty nest situation. Had I known our home would be a hotel this summer, I think I would have just enjoyed the peace and quiet, but still I think it best not to know what the future holds.

I say that because my very good friend and mentor, Mary DeYoung, who has commented frequently on this blog, lost her extremely short battle with cancer on Monday. I'm glad I wasn't able to peek into the future and see that. I wouldn't have been able to bear it. When I looked at her body in that casket at the church tonight, it looked nothing like her at all. She was so full of life always, ever smiling and zipping around spreading the love. She just really loved people and life. I would have flunked my college math class freshman year if it hadn't been for her invitation to come over to her house for some free, one on one tutoring. She was my professor- 10 years my senior. After that semester, she needed a babysitter for her son, I was that person. When I needed some extra cash in my early married years, she needed a cleaning lady and that solved that. When I.T. and I needed a place to live when our first child was born, she rented us the upstairs of her house. She gave us so many things over the years, I've lost count of it all. We still have her old bedroom furniture we were given when she bought new. But the best thing she gave to I.T. and I was her friendship. We've shared so many good times with her and her husband, Steve. I just can't imagine not being able to share the rest of life's happenings with Mary. It will be very weird. I.T. and I will serve as Master and Mistress of ceremonies at Mary's son's wedding next summer and she won't be there. It's going to take a lot of getting used to, this new arrangement with Mary in heaven and the rest of us, who love her so, still here on earth.

We found out Mary had cancer on July 7 and less than three weeks later she was home- with God. Her ever changing, precarious condition and residence in ICU didn't allow for many visitors, so her husband kept everyone up to date by blogging her progress, or lack thereof it, on the hospital CarePages. He signed each one with "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases." On Monday he had the terrible job of announcing the end of her life on earth. But he signed that post with the verse in its entirety:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24

I cling to this truth and put my full hope in this Lord. I know it is because of this that I have peace. Of all the many blessings God gives, knowledge and understanding of exactly how earth and heaven intertwine is not one of them. That which he does give, I will receive with thanksgiving. At least I will try. And when I fail I will trust his great faithfulness of unending mercy extended to me, with love.

Hoping in Him,