Hoping in Him

As it turns out, when you fall off the face of the earth, it's hard to get a good enough grip to pull yourself back into the blogosphere. So much has changed since I last blogged regularly that I'm not even sure I am the same person as that blogging girl. I think I left off somewhere between crying all the time from the pain of empty nesting and trying to figure out how to be a good wife to my husband. Well, I'm no longer grieving over a house void of people- most of them came back. My middle son- I call him Pilgrim on the blog- he moved home the first week of June after spending two years and all his hard earned money in California. He's 21. I'm very glad to have him home. My daughter, Fashionista on the blog, is home from college for the summer, of course, and is working every day in the plant at the company where my husband, I.T. (Information Technologist) works, so she can afford to return for year 2. I absolutely love having Fash here.  Pilgrim's girlfriend from California, moved in for a week, last week, as she is going to complete her nursing degree here in Michigan at a university near our home, to be near Pilgrim. She was touring the university and getting some paperwork done for admissions. I found her to be a very sweet girl and we enjoyed having her here. As for working on being a good wife, I'm still working on it.

I'm also feeling that I wasted a lot of tears over the lonely empty nest situation. Had I known our home would be a hotel this summer, I think I would have just enjoyed the peace and quiet, but still I think it best not to know what the future holds.

I say that because my very good friend and mentor, Mary DeYoung, who has commented frequently on this blog, lost her extremely short battle with cancer on Monday. I'm glad I wasn't able to peek into the future and see that. I wouldn't have been able to bear it. When I looked at her body in that casket at the church tonight, it looked nothing like her at all. She was so full of life always, ever smiling and zipping around spreading the love. She just really loved people and life. I would have flunked my college math class freshman year if it hadn't been for her invitation to come over to her house for some free, one on one tutoring. She was my professor- 10 years my senior. After that semester, she needed a babysitter for her son, I was that person. When I needed some extra cash in my early married years, she needed a cleaning lady and that solved that. When I.T. and I needed a place to live when our first child was born, she rented us the upstairs of her house. She gave us so many things over the years, I've lost count of it all. We still have her old bedroom furniture we were given when she bought new. But the best thing she gave to I.T. and I was her friendship. We've shared so many good times with her and her husband, Steve. I just can't imagine not being able to share the rest of life's happenings with Mary. It will be very weird. I.T. and I will serve as Master and Mistress of ceremonies at Mary's son's wedding next summer and she won't be there. It's going to take a lot of getting used to, this new arrangement with Mary in heaven and the rest of us, who love her so, still here on earth.

We found out Mary had cancer on July 7 and less than three weeks later she was home- with God. Her ever changing, precarious condition and residence in ICU didn't allow for many visitors, so her husband kept everyone up to date by blogging her progress, or lack thereof it, on the hospital CarePages. He signed each one with "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases." On Monday he had the terrible job of announcing the end of her life on earth. But he signed that post with the verse in its entirety:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24

I cling to this truth and put my full hope in this Lord. I know it is because of this that I have peace. Of all the many blessings God gives, knowledge and understanding of exactly how earth and heaven intertwine is not one of them. That which he does give, I will receive with thanksgiving. At least I will try. And when I fail I will trust his great faithfulness of unending mercy extended to me, with love.

Hoping in Him,

Alive and Thinking

I prefer to come to this blank page with some helpful encouragement for others, some nugget of truth from God's word, some funny story that will make others laugh. Laughing is so healing and helpful for lifting the spirit. But today I'm going to simply log what I've been doing (or maybe what I've been not doing) just so people will know I am alive here in this little box made of ticky tacky in this homogeneous subdivision in the great lakes state of Michigan. You know Michigan- we used to make a lot of car parts and office furniture here. Yep. Right here in the U S of A great state called Michigan.

I've been thinking.

So much that I haven't been very useful. Days go by and the crumbs on the kitchen floor pile up. The ants are quite pleased, though they are drinking plops of poison to round out their meals. I keep waiting for them to not be there in the morning, but each day as I put the kettle on to boil, I am greeted by many tiny poison sucking friends.

Thinking. Thinking about life. Thinking that I need to live more life, because time is going faster. Need to get out there and make an impact. Get out there.

Thinking is taking up most of my time and I'm thinking of giving up on it for a while and just going for a bike ride. But mostly I really need to clean the garage, because we are supposed to be having a graduation open house in there very soon! The idea is that we will make pancakes and bacon for a bunch of family and friends and focus on Fash leaving. Leaving.

I try to think of ways to keep Fash here. But she's excited to get out there. Get out there.

Last night I went with girlfriends to see Anita Renfroe- a comedienne from Texas. She was funny, though I didn't get her southern joke about sweet tea. She talked a lot about women's body parts that sink and sag over the course of time. And how so many thoughts just up and leave our minds, as our ears grow longer.

Earlier this week Fash found a brick of cheddar in the saran wrap drawer. Later the same day Fash came looking for me. I was vacuuming the living room carpet, about 20 mintes after running errands. Fash just wanted to tell me, "don't worry, Mom, I turned the car off for you". After vacuuming, I spent about 40 minutes wandering around our house and property looking for the iced mocha I had been drinking before I started vacuuming. I finally found it on top of the pump house out by the pool. It was no longer icy. That very same day, we received in the mail, a flyer- inviting the residents of our household to a seminar being offered by the local older folks home. The title of the seminar: Know the Signs of Dementia.

Anyway, I'm off now to clean up the garage sale leftovers and mop the kitchen floor- ant poop. I.T. will be painting the concrete pond later this weekend, right after he scrapes the paint from the cracked parts and sands it down a bit. I probably will try to help him in some small, but very meaningful way. We're enjoying our book and diligently working through all the chapters together. It's good. And it is making us laugh actually.

I'm going to be sure to encourage someone today. Feel free to join me in that random act of kindness wherever you are.

Peace and Love (Pilgrim always says that),