Seeking Him Together

Shortly after I began my blog, I joined a blogger Bible study, Seeking Him Together. I barely knew how to post the button on my sidebar and I'm still fuzzy on linking etiquette. I was also confused about what book we'd be studying (the Seeking Him Together button wasn't enough of a clue for me) Therefore I began the study about a week behind everyone else. My plan was to race through the first part to catch up to the pack.

The introductory lesson defined the study- it's on revival. Page 18 tells of the countless joys of walking closely with and seeking God: rebuilds a desire for God's Word, prayer, praise and obedience, repairs broken marriages, removes bitterness, fear and worry, refreshes the spirit, renews the mind and reforms the life. The first question after all that was, "Which result of revival do you particularly need and desire to see in your own life?" After reading the choices over and over, I decided on "reforms the life" because that would sort of cover it all. Next....

Lesson 2 topic: humility. First question, have I ever known someone who was truly humble? Yes, I know someone. She always thinks of others before herself. She takes the low road and never seems to be trying to impress anyone. She's a good listener and has imparted wisdom to me with her words on several occasions.

Moving right along, I read a few stories illustrating pride vs. humility. The Day 5 page marked the end of lesson 2. There I found a two column list of 30 one liner characteristics of proud people paralleled with 30 one liner characteristics of humble people. I was to read the proud descriptive and the humble one across from it and circle the one that best described me. Easy enough.

First one- under Proud people.... "focus on the failures of others" and under Humble people...."are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need" Hmmm. I hoped I didn't focus on the failures of others, but why were personal examples of what this looked like quickly piling up in my memory. I studied the humble choice again. "Overwhelmed with a sense of spiritual need", "overwhelmed", "overwhelmed". I wasn't sure I could describe myself as being overwhelmed with my need. I know I need the Lord, but a more accurate description would be "sometimes forgets how much she needs the Lord". Between the two choices, I honestly identified more with the proud.

After nine more consecutive proud picks, I got to #11. Proud people..."have a drive to be recognized and appreciated" and Humble people...."have a sense of their own unworthiness; are thrilled that God would use them at all", I laid the pencil down. This pattern was not pretty.

Reading the remaining 19 comparisons was like walking through one of Disney's dark forests where the scary trees come alive. Roots and branches from the dead oaks of pride were slithering toward me and twisting tightly around my wrists and ankles subduing my pursuit of revival.

As of today, I'm still chopping my way out of the forest. Life has been presenting me with one opportunity after another to practice laying down my pride in exchange for humility- all week long. With Memorial Day providing that extra day off, I expected a walk in the park from Tuesday to today. But getting here was a sweaty, uphill climb. Maybe the view from the top will be enlightening. I'll let you know when I get there.

I flipped ahead in the study guide and I'm already anxious about upcoming chapters on Honesty and Repentance - working on it, working on it- I glimpsed hope in Lesson 5 when I saw the title, 'Grace: God's Provision for Every Need'. I'm pretty sure I'm going to skip ahead to Lesson 5.

I thankfully reside in the grace of God. I need to live there and He promises me that home. I'm completely persuaded of the truth of God's Word, of His love for me, of his sovereignty and that His ways are higher than my ways. I know he is working in my life to mold me into something He can use and I think He sometimes uses me now, even with all of my imperfections.

One of the study questions for this week asks what part of scripture has been most helpful to me thus far in understanding what revival means in my life. I'm undecided. I'm even more at a loss to answer the second question about what we can do to create greater freedom in the Body of Christ to be honest with each other. All I know for sure right now is God loves me and He's working with me and waiting patiently, while I learn to work with Him. Seeking Him Together is his current tool of choice for chiseling off a few more chunks toward completion of the good work that He began in me years ago. I will continue to seek Him.