To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn....

"This last season of my life has been characterized, more than anything else, by change."

This is the opening line of the second paragraph of the first chapter of Shauna Niequist's second book, Bittersweet, published by Zondervan.

It is also the theme line for the waters of life that I am currently treading.

Shauna tells that in a short two year's time she lost a job she loved, had her first baby, wrote her first book, lived through her husband leaving his job in a painful way, traveled together and separate from her husband every week for a year, looked for a new home, tried to pay the bills, left her church community, lost family members and friends and her second child. She says that her cry during this time was, "Everything in my life is dying. I can't keep anything alive."

I can relate.

"I know that to another person my difficult season would have been a walk in the park, and that all over the world, people suffer in unimaginable ways and manage far worse than my own little list, " Shauna laments.

I can relate.

I feel so guilty for feeling sorry for myself over what feels like such a great loss, but is really just a healthy part of life moving forward. I feel guilty that I have moments of serious doubt about whether I.T. and I will survive in this house together without our children around, while at the same time knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will be just fine.

It is the day before the last day of July and Fash will make her bed across two state lines in four short weeks. Actually she will probably never even make her bed, which is all the worse.