There was a little girl. Who had a little curl. Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good. She was very, very good. But when she was bad, she was horrid.
My tagline might read: "Serving up thoughts with a twist of humor in a squeeze of time", but I'm about to serve you some thoughts, turned to words, that fried to a crisp and stuck to the pan, ones that even if I tried to add the spice of humor to them, would taste like the burned up failure that they are.
The little girl, with the little curl matured and married a hunk. They grew in the Christian faith- together- reading God's word, developing friendships with other believers and praying that the Lord would show them The Way. The baggage each brought to the family they created was heavy and busting at the seams. It would take a lot of grace and many decades to unpack.
Even after 23 years of complete commitment and miraculous love, it was not uncommon for a scenario such as this to unfold:
(Driving home from a seminar meant to bring attendees financial peace.)
He: You're quiet.
She: I'm trying to stay out of trouble. I'm just enjoying being with you. Here in the car. I talk too much. You take a turn.
He: (long pause) I was thinking about {Plan A}, I want it to work out, but...
She: (stopping him dead in his sentence) What do you mean "But."? Do you mean {Plan A} might not be an option? Because we agreed on {Plan A}, we are all counting on {Plan A} working out.
He: We agreed to check into other options.
She: We did check into other options. ( kickin' it up a notch in volume) I'm feelin' a little pressure here. {Plan A} is happenin'!
He: You're feeling pressure? I have the whole weight of the entire situation on my shoulders. Not to mention this OTHER thing!
She: ( passing the neighbor's house, which recently needed a pricey repair) Well! I certainly hope we don't still live in our house when all the stuff breaks!!
(they pull into the garage, go into the house, hang up their coats, get ready for bed...)
He: Where did that come from?! We aren't even talking about the house! What makes you think all the stuff is going to break?!?
She: That stuff is old and I don't want to live in this house the rest of our lives!!!
He: What's wrong with our house?
She: Nothing is wrong with our house!!!! I don't want to move out of our house!!! I just don't want to live in it the rest of our lives and I hope the stuff doesn't break while we are living in it!!!! And {Plan A} better be happening!!!!!!!!!!! AND I NEED to keep the OTHER thing!
He: (silence) (He goes to bed)
She: (crying) (She sits up all night, on the couch, trying to figure it out)
He is perplexed. He loves her. He spends most of his time trying to do what is best for her, to care for her, to protect her, to provide for her and the family. And why does she think all the stuff is going to break?
She loves him. She is mad. At herself. She didn't listen. She jumped to conclusions- again. {Plan A} scares her. It's taken weeks to talk herself into believing {Plan A} will work out just fine. Not following through with {Plan A} scares her. She blames the whole thing on Dave Ramsey. (But of course it isn't his fault)
This girl, her curl long turned gray (so she colors it), knows this verse well (requiring her children to memorize it long ago):
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
And once she gave a talk to a roomful of women using this verse as the thesis:
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Hypocrite?
No.
Just a good, good girl, who lost this battle to horrid.
It is true. We need a Savior.
So thankful to be saved by grace through faith in Christ- alone,
17 comments:
I can relate! (Even though there is not a curl on my head!)
Ah, communication, where would we be without it! As painful as it is, our communication patterns teach us so much about ourselves. Good post.
My mother used to recite that poem over and over and it is drilled into my brain. It was almost gone and then you had to do this...It's ok I forgive you. :)
Great post!!
Blessings, andrea
I love honest people. It sets us all free to look in the mirror and repent. I do so every day. Thank God for the blood of Jesus that washes us as white as snow. Every day. It sets us free to be Beloved. Not horrid. Amazing.
You're simply amazing.
Hugs to you and IT. You are so good together...love you both. M
First things first: LOVE the books in the side bar!!! (You knew I would!)
Then, you are an inspiration: admitting your horrid times, keeping the faith no matter what. I'm guessing the ITologist is pretty amazing, too--but he never blogs so I can't give him props. I'm sure he rocks!
And in the words of Fash's show: "The sun will come out tomorrow." And that is all because of Him, too. (And if you're me--you will find new ways of being horrid, even if you try hard not to! It's a gift! argh!!)
Thanks for the comments one and all. It took about 24 hours of silence between us, but I.T. and I have worked this one out and all is forgiven.
Since the Lord's mercies are new every morning, I know I have another chance to handle my fears better the next time they jump out at me like that.
Ironically, I majored in Communication in college and have the degree to prove it. *smile*
Heidi,
Even with no curls, I still can be the "She" in this conversation so many, many times. I too, am thankful everyday for God's grace and provisions!
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
*sigh* tweak it a little here and there, and i probably could have written this post myself. funny how quickly a nice time can turn into a not-so-nice time because of a comment that leads to another comment that leads to an oversensitive interpretation that leads to a hasty reaction that... yeah. i too am trying to keep my mouth more firmly closed or at least take a breath before i respond, so as to not get myself in trouble. i am doing pretty well, but there are times...
so you're a communications major with the same communication issues as "the rest of us". funny how academic learning doesn't translate well into real life! have i ever mentioned what my major was? i don't often bc i am ashamed to admit it. you would NOT know it by looking at my house or my life. :-(
i ALMOST opened a blogger blog today, finally, bc i finally decided on a name. it was taken. so was my 2nd choice. so i didn't.
Your posts are keepin' it real in a very entertaining way :-)
I remember that poem in a nursery rhyme book I had as a kid. Honestly, I always thought it was a weird little poem. :)
You have no idea how I can relate to much of this. God and I are working on getting my mouth out of the way but I have to admit it's a terrible hard thing for me.
My DWV is caritop ... LOL!
You know....I really do think you are great! :)
what an open honest post...it was good to read because we all at one time in our lives have a curl and are very good, but at others repeat exactly what the little girl said!
Thank u!
BG
It's that part of us that keeps driving us back to our knees; back to that place of humble surrender at the foot of the cross. Amazing how level is the ground there. No wonder we all relate to the "HER" in this saga.
Blessings,
Kathleen
I totally get this!
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