Oat Bran on the Beach?

I like the beach. That's where you soak up some sun, stroll in the surf and eat snacks, right? Not on the South Beach, you don't. When Dr. Knowitall gave I.T. 6 months to bring down his cholesterol with exercise and diet, we headed to the South Beach. Phase one, we cannot eat baked goods of any kind, cereals of any kind, hot or cold, milk, cheese or butter, fruit of any kind, bacon, pasta, rice, anything that comes in a package, soup, sweeteners (except agave nectar- we can have that), potatoes, beets, butternut squash or fruit juice or soda. I.T. cannot eat eggs.

Sunday night we dipped our tilapia fish fillet in a little puddle of rainwater and dredged it in chopped parsley fresh from the garden. Then we steamed seventeen green beans and dabbed some agave nectar on them to see what that would taste like, because we can have agave nectar. We split the entire meal between us and went for a 45 minute bike ride. Dr. Agatston, M.D. says in his book, we should not be hungry. We must have done it wrong. We had to order pizza.

Monday we backed it up to 1989- pulled out the #1 New York Times Bestseller, The 8-Week Cholesterol Cure, revised edition, left the beach and baked up some bran muffins. We ate two for breakfast, one for lunch, three for dinner. Rounded it out with some fruit and turkey sandwiches- on whole wheat. According to Mr. Kowalski's book, that should be good for a subtraction of two points divided by two people off the total cholesterol count for each of us.

Today, while driving home on my fourth to the last day of being the manager of the bookstore where I work, I ate an entire bag of Costco, organic ,chocolate chip cookies with pecans. Lucky for me, the oat bran diet allows nuts. (No pun intended, of course)